No no, not the “New Year new me BS” this time. I think every year, we celebrate the new year because we want to reignite our hopes. Every new year starts with a resolution that barely lasts, and as soon as we hit March, our hopes fade and we are looking forward to the new year for a fresh start.
Talking about hopes and excitement, I wasn’t ready for 2018. I didn’t celebrate Christmas 2017 and I don’t remember the first quarter due to my artificially simulated happiness chemicals. The pills filled the gaps between different emotions, but did it give me the happiness I was craving? I genuinely don’t know. What I know is that I was over the moon when it finally kicked in. Well, “over the moon” might be an exaggeration, but I was definitely over the international space station. It also made most of my 2018 is very blurry.
2017 wasn’t particularly friendly either, but the lovely presence of the wee one made it bearable and somehow pleasant at times. But when 2017 departed, it left behind a big, unprecedented mess. (which I am still clearing up)
The good thing about 2017 is that the abuse finally came to the end. But it didn’t leave without a fight though.
We talk a lot about domestic violence and whenever we picture domestic violence, most of us automatically assume that the victim is the female. It is not always true. I have met many men who are victims of domestic violence. Most of them choose to remain silent because society has brainwashed them to “man up”.
Furthermore, the sympathy men receive is non-existent, compared to their female counterparts.
And men are silenced, by society, by the media and sometimes by their own families. According to the charity National Centre for Domestic Violence, 49 per cent of the male victims of domestic violence told no one.
Sometimes, it isn’t easy to defend, especially when one is the victim of false accusations. It is like proving that you weren’t present at aisle 3 of a supermarket at 3 pm and you have to dig you’re your dashcam data to provide evidence that you were in fact, driving from work at that time.
Moreover, it is like trying to prove your gender to a visually impaired person without speaking to them.
This is how 2018 stepped in, like an uninvited guest, and stayed, complained, screamed and occasionally left the toilet seat up/down.
Acceptance was the key. I welcomed it with my open arms. And in return, it showed me stuff that I would never have noticed otherwise.
Surprisingly, 2018 turned out to be one of the meaningful years. It allowed me to discover my true friends. It also guided the wider path and somehow help me discover myself.
It didn’t kill me, but each time it pushed me on the ground, I got up and winked at it. Each fall made me stronger.
For these, I think 2018 deserves a massive send-off.
Thank you 2018 for all the experiences I had which seemed impossible and unachievable in 2017.
You taught me how to wipe tears and convert them into smiles. You also showed me how to transform agony into a peal of laughter.
2018, you were inarguably one of the best teachers I’ve ever had.
But before 2018 takes its last breath, I would like to mention something here.
I hope my ex is happy and healthy, the friends and family (who listened to the fake stories and abandoned me without bothering to verify the facts with me) are happy and healthy too.
I hope everyone who has done me dirty has learned a lesson from it.
And those who stood by me, offered me their hands to help me get up and those who believed in me.
You truly are an asset to humanity. Please never let anything change you for who you are.
And if I hurt anyone this year, I apologize profusely.
I have learnt that forgiveness is important. You cannot move forward if you drag the past with you.
I am happily moved on.
I have also forgiven everyone.
The physical and emotional scars may still be visible and will be there forever, but forgiveness is forgiveness deal or no deal. I voted for it and I want it.
Thank you once again, good ol’18.
Now I am ready to welcome the New Year. (Starts the countdown 10…9….8…)To my religious friends, have a blessed 2019, and for the rest of us, let’s drink for a farewell to 2018 and let’s make 2019 feel welcome with a brew!!